Thursday, 10 April 2014

Your so-called jodoh.

... | via Facebook

The main reason you find, is that you refused to be found.
you find, because you refused to wait.
you said time is so short to wait like a fool, so you find..
After you found what you've been desperately finding, you forget.
you forget things you should remember, and you forget how to remember.
because the joy did made you immersed, drowned hopelessly to the false hope and deceit he gave you.
Little did you know, the said he is one of your stepping stone to reach the 'one'.
or more like an obstacle, that makes your supposed-to-be-smooth road becomes bumpy, rough.
Hurt, defined by you as your ability to count your shattered heart.
Hurt, in terms of me is my weakness of not blocking you from indulging your own false world.

That is why, it never works.
because you destined to be with the one in your future which was decided by the almighty Allah.
instead, you refused his ability and credibility to direct and write your very own journey.
and then you ask, "why? why am i the only one 'happiness' refused to acknowledge?" 
here's the answer;
you're too busy writing the script, 'till you become too ignorant to understand time. 
thus, ended up your story having the crappiest plot ever.

yours faithfully and truthfully can't bear watching you in sorrows,

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Of appearance and loneliness.

So True |

Behind this annoying poker face,
lays a thousand secrets worth afraid of;
lays a fortune of insecurities worth be ashamed of;
lays a sea of tears worth being shed of.

Now, i know why did you left.
because the damned secrets, that stupid insecurities issues though i hat to admit, had taken it's toll on us.
To begin with, who wants to befriend a frail girl with loads of frustrating troubles yes ?
because me, myself does not even want to have a friend like me too.
because i'm afraid my already fucked up life is going to be more fucked up if i have a friend like me.

That is why I am preparing myself.
for the loneliness I chose to bare,
for the emptiness I chose to indulge.
so that when the eager tears escape from the corners of eyes uncontrollably,
I have nothing to be regretted of.
because i still think living a lonely, sorrowful life is better than living a lively, cheerful life with tonnes of shitty, fake plastic containers you've grown so fond of calling them your friends.

Just so you know, I did not back off for nothing. 
I backed off because this time, i chose to put in a good amount of greed into me;
I want to have the last laugh to myself.

Monday, 3 March 2014

To you, the princess-soon-to-be-queen.


If he loves you,

he'll love you by you,

he'll love your flaws,

he'll never look at you in disgust,

he'll say you are beautiful,

he'll happily eat your bland-tasting dishes,

he'll treat you like a glass; fragile that he's afraid you might break,

he'll thank you with loving kisses,

he'll appreciate your wierd choice of perfume,

he'll laugh at your lame jokes,

he'll thank you for the son(s) and daughter(s) that he have,

he'll say your disturbing stretch marks are breathtaking,

he'll voice sweet nothings to lull you to sleep,

he'll stay awake at 2 am in the morning just to admire how beautiful you are when you sleep,

he'll mouth 'i love you' like he never grow tired of saying it,

he'll never take you for granted,

because he knows, and he feels so bad as you've sacrifice so much just to be with him.

because he knows, and he feels so guilty of 'trapping' you in his life forever while he himself is too selfish to let you go for another better man.

because he, himself knows.. 

and fully aware of the fact that he will never got any woman better than you.

picture credit to

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Oh hai.

Oh hai. Nampaknye benda ni dah lama usang. *batukgilagilasebabhabukbanyaknyepunadoi*

Do you love me?
gambar hanyalah ilustrasi semata-mata.

Been gone for too long due to the packed schedule of mine. Hell yes university life ! I actually thought of sharing life as a mahasiswi but you know yuyu, she always kesiangan in everything.....

Anyhoots, i actually have a new interest in something. 

Literature. yes that poems thingy. Recently I've been collecting poems and interesting quotes and found it amusing on how i'm getting attached very fast on it ngehngeh. 

That one time, I read an english fiction from online reading site. The author includes a poem in it; 

"In another world,
if you were to be born as a beautiful bird,
i would like to be born as a magnificent tree,
though i have to wait in a place,
i still want to be born as a magnificent tree;
just so you can rest on me, when your wings are weary."

i don't know if it touches you the way it touches my heart but seriously though this is one of the best thing I've ever read. call me greaseball or anything but that is masterpiece. Applause to the creator ! >< 

Have you guys ever read or heard christian's wedding vows ? 

I vow to take you,
to be my lawfully wedded wife,
to have,
and to always hold from this day forward,
for better or for worse,
for richer,
for poorer,
in sickness and health,
to love, and to cherish; from this day forward,
‘till death do us part…”

can't get enough of that actually. meaningful as it sounds.