Thursday, 10 April 2014

Your so-called jodoh.

... | via Facebook

The main reason you find, is that you refused to be found.
you find, because you refused to wait.
you said time is so short to wait like a fool, so you find..
After you found what you've been desperately finding, you forget.
you forget things you should remember, and you forget how to remember.
because the joy did made you immersed, drowned hopelessly to the false hope and deceit he gave you.
Little did you know, the said he is one of your stepping stone to reach the 'one'.
or more like an obstacle, that makes your supposed-to-be-smooth road becomes bumpy, rough.
Hurt, defined by you as your ability to count your shattered heart.
Hurt, in terms of me is my weakness of not blocking you from indulging your own false world.

That is why, it never works.
because you destined to be with the one in your future which was decided by the almighty Allah.
instead, you refused his ability and credibility to direct and write your very own journey.
and then you ask, "why? why am i the only one 'happiness' refused to acknowledge?" 
here's the answer;
you're too busy writing the script, 'till you become too ignorant to understand time. 
thus, ended up your story having the crappiest plot ever.

yours faithfully and truthfully can't bear watching you in sorrows,

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Of appearance and loneliness.

So True |

Behind this annoying poker face,
lays a thousand secrets worth afraid of;
lays a fortune of insecurities worth be ashamed of;
lays a sea of tears worth being shed of.

Now, i know why did you left.
because the damned secrets, that stupid insecurities issues though i hat to admit, had taken it's toll on us.
To begin with, who wants to befriend a frail girl with loads of frustrating troubles yes ?
because me, myself does not even want to have a friend like me too.
because i'm afraid my already fucked up life is going to be more fucked up if i have a friend like me.

That is why I am preparing myself.
for the loneliness I chose to bare,
for the emptiness I chose to indulge.
so that when the eager tears escape from the corners of eyes uncontrollably,
I have nothing to be regretted of.
because i still think living a lonely, sorrowful life is better than living a lively, cheerful life with tonnes of shitty, fake plastic containers you've grown so fond of calling them your friends.

Just so you know, I did not back off for nothing. 
I backed off because this time, i chose to put in a good amount of greed into me;
I want to have the last laugh to myself.